dabard95:

So just recently Lindsay said on Still Open that the reason she became so upfront and public with her bisexuality was because Michael encouraged her to express herself and be honest with her own feelings like…

What a goddamn beautiful couple. Lindsay loving Michael for the rough and opinionated Jersey boy that he is and Michael loving his wife so damn much that he was worried that she was being unfair to herself by refusing to acknowledge a part of who she was. 

Iris Jones has supportive and open minded parents that still aren’t afraid to tell it how it is and be direct. I’m happy that they found each other and that Iris was born into a family of such blatant love. 

trevorcollins-appreciation-squad:

Src. Twitter @JeremyNDooley // @_TrevorC

assetsational:

joolaweed:

something we agreed we like about uncle vernon is that despite like, personally suffering at the hands of wizards pretty significantly (dudley’s tail, marge), vernon is like, always ready to mess with wizards? like he is SO SCARED of them but he’s always ready to fight? please take this moment to imagine uncle vernon meeting voldemort

*scoffs* ‘“Dark Lord” huh??? that just sounds to me like another way of saying you don’t have a REAL JOB.’

ragequit-mogar:

i love my parents pt.2

snufflesblack:

I’ve made a prompts list! (Some are not mine and I give credit to those who made them.) Send an ask with the number(s) and the character/ship you want! (For short drabbles/blurbs) x

1. “Please don’t leave me.”
2. “Are you kidding me right now?!”
3. “I’m going to kill you!”
4. “You did all of this for me?”
5. “I made my baby cry!”
6. “I’m in love with you.”
7. “Can I kiss you?”
8. “You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.”
9. “Will you be quiet?!”
10. “You are a bloody idiot, you know that?”
11. “You love me.”
12. “He’s dead.”
13. “I hate you so much I love you.”
14. “Just leave me alone!”
15. “I can’t believe you just did that.”
16. “Give me a reason not to turn around and walk away now.”
17. “Please.”
18. “Cuddle me.”
19. “Give me that back!”
20. "I’m pregnant.”
21. "Are you scared?”
22. "What are you doing?”
23. "If we get caught I’m blaming you.”
24. "Are you drunk?”
25. "Shut up and kiss me.”
26. "Help me I’m stuck.”
27. "What am I going to do with you?”
28. "Stop distracting me!”
29. "You said my name in your sleep.”
30. "Yes.”
31. "Are you jealous?”
32. "Trust me.”
33. "Bite me.” “If you insist.”
34. "I made a mistake.”
35. "It’s been a while.” “Too long.”
36. "I don’t love you anymore!”
37. "You’re lying.”
38. "I’m going to regret this.”
39. "Do that again.”
40. "I’m running away.”
41. "I need your help.”
42. "If I die I’m going to come back and haunt you.”
43. "Well this is a surprise.”
44. "Am I dreaming?”
45. "Make me.”
46. "If they find out, I’ll kill myself and then you.”
47. "Why? Just… why?”
48. "Stop it.”
49. "We’re just friends.”
50. "Did you just flick me?”
51. "Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now?”
52. "I got you a present.”
53. "Sit in my lap.”
54. "I think I forgot how to breathe.”
55. "Woah.”
56. "What if I told you I’ve been in love with you since I was eleven?”
57. "You don’t understand, you never do!”
58. "You look cute with a baby bump!”
59. "It’s all your fault!”
60. "Well that’s just great.”
61. "Are you even listening?”
62. "I’m going to walk away and pretend I didn’t see anything.”
63. "I thought you loved her.”
64. "Time changes people.”
65. "You, my friend, are a complete and utter tosser.”
66. "You should be nice to me, I just saved your life!”
67. "Don’t you just love it!”
68. "It bit me!”
69. "You have approximately 5 seconds to get out of my face before I kill you.”
70. "Did you buy me… lingerie?”
71. "Oh yeah, because you’d be so good at this!”
72. "I’m sorry.”
73. "That night never happened!”
74. "You should marry me.”
75. "Aren’t you just a cutie pie!”
76. "Don’t you dare!”
77. "Um.. somebody broke that.”
78. "Stop biting that fucking lip!”
79. "You’re hot, shame about the personality.”
80. "You’re going to get us expelled!”
81. "I need you to fake date me.”
82. "My back’s a bit sore from when you stabbed me with your knife.”
83. “You’re just leaving me here? At least have to decency to finish me off with a stick.”
84. "No, I didn’t murder them. I accidentally knocked them unconscious forever, that’s all.”
85. "Wow thanks a lot.”
86. "Why are you walking around naked?”
87. "You owe me big time!”
88. "Awe it’s so cute!”
89. "Are you hitting on me?”
90. "If I die you’ll be sorry!”
91. "Help me hide!”
92. "Sometimes I really don’t like you.”
93. "You’re crazy! You’re out of your mind!”
94. "Ow! Ow! Stop hitting me!”
95. "I don’t know how you convinced me to do this.”
96. "Is that… is that my bra?”
97. "Really? Right now?”
98. "Where are your pants?”
99. "I can’t believe you’re carrying my child.”
100. ”You’re my soulmate?!”

vampiricallyinclined:

1. “Is that mistletoe?”
2. “Are you- are you pulling down mistletoe?”
3. “I don’t care about tradition, you try and get me to kiss you under the mistletoe and I will punch you”
4. “If I hear one more Mariah Carey song I will riot”
5. “Remind me why I can’t kill the carolers?”
6. “Hum one more note of that carol and I will stab you”
7. “My house, my rules. The Christmas music stays on” 
8. “If you throw that snowball you’re declaring war”
   
9. “You’re kidding, right? I’m not going out in that snow storm!”
10. “I don’t care what you say, The Nightmare Before Christmas works for Christmas and Halloween”
11. “I can’t believe you did all this, for me”
12. “You don’t have to go to all this trouble, you know”
13. “You didn’t really think I’d let you spend Christmas alone, did you?”
    
14. “You’d make a really terrible Santa”
15. “It’s a time of good will, not whatever the hell you’re doing”
16. “Aren’t you just Santa’s Little Helper?”
17. “You call this decorated?”
18. “How on earth did you get tinsel there?”
19. “Wow, you really go overboard with decorations, don’t you?”
20. “It looks like Santa threw up here”
21. “What are you doing to that poor wrapping paper?”
22. “Exactly how much more hinting do I have to do?” 
23.  “Have I told you how much I hate Christmas shopping?”
24. “Secret Santa is bullshit”
25. “Tell me what you want for Christmas”
26. “Why are you so impossible to shop for?”
    
27. “Can’t I just give you $20 and you can buy something for yourself?”
28. “Please tell me you aren’t searching my room for where I’ve hidden the presents”
    
29. “I thought we weren’t doing gifts!”
30. “I got you a Christmas sweater!”
    
31. “How many Christmas sweaters do you own?”
    
32. “You’re wearing the Santa hat, whether you like it or not”
33. “One normal Christmas, that’s all I wanted”
34. “I’m sure what ever threat is out there can wait until after Christmas dinner”
35. “You invited how many people over for Christmas dinner??”
    
36. “You really can’t cook, can you?”
    
37. “Who the hell turned off the oven?!” 
38. “This calls for eggnog” 
39. “I can’t believe no one has spiked the eggnog yet”
40. “Just how much eggnog have you had?”
41. “I’m starting to regret having taught you about gluhwein”
    
42. “Oi! That’s my hot chocolate”
    
43. “Spam is not a suitable replacement for turkey”
    
44. “No offence meant, but I do not trust you to carve the turkey”
    
45. “I don’t care about anything else, the pudding is all that matters”
46. “Hey, binge eating at Christmas is totally justified!”
47. “You made gingerbread zombies?”
    
48. “Step away from the cookies.”
    
49. “Who ate all the advent calendar chocolates?!”
    
50. “Normally I’d say no, but I’m on my 14th candy cane, so why not?” 

silverhawk:

silverhawk:

my cat is rly mean to my sister so my family is having an intervention w my cat to ask her to stop swatting my sister

the intervention didnt work.

kaijuno:

In 300 years someone’s gonna make a Hamilton-esque musical with Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders and teenagers on the internet are gonna stan Donald Trump like “uwu my trash son Donald being a drama queen as usual” and I’m gonna have to do it. I’m gonna have to come back from the dead and destroy the planet.

frogandtoadaregays:

taako, out of the blue, after contemplating humans’ relatively short life span: d’you think if i bit you, you would turn into an elf

angus:

angus: sir—

lup: its definitely worth a try

juliaburnsides:

im relistening to Balance for the 7th time and I’m on the eleventh hour and right this moment Magnus and June are going through his memories I am NOT ready for this julia bullshit it doesn’t matter how many god damn times I listen to this ep it fuckin destroys me

birdiethebibliophile:

Here’s an interesting point of characterization I’ve seen in TAZ: Taako’s passivity, and how it defines him and his arc.

Now, Taako isn’t lazy. He’s described as “never satisfied” by the judges in cycle 65, he goes out of his way to learn new things - he taught himself magic when he’d forgotten he knew it, he invented surfing, he learned an entire language from scratch on the animal plane. However, he can come off as lazy because of one catchphrase: “Taako’s good out here.”

I would say that isn’t laziness. That’s passivity. Taako does not want to initiate anything. He doesn’t want to start a fight, he doesn’t want to get into trouble, he wants to keep himself safe. That’s perfectly in character for him. It’s set in contrast to “Magnus rushes in.” It makes sense - he stays where he is, he doesn’t move.

Which is what makes his moments of action that much more powerful. Think about Arms Outstretched - instead of remaining passive, Taako takes action, flinging his soul out of his body towards Magnus. Even running across the sapphire mirror to Kravitz is a moment of action that’s special - he cares about these people, so he actively goes to them.

But his most powerful moments are those that the combine action and passivity, and I want to talk about two of them, both in the finale.

The first is when he’s explaining his idea that will save everyone and everything, and he says -

Taako: Listen, all that thing wants on Earth, the thing it wants more than anything else, we have been basically trolling it for a hundred years. The only thing it wants, is to pick us up and absorb us into itself. And I don’t know about you all, but Taako’s good out here. (via @tazscripts)

There it is - his trademark catchphrase of passivity, but here, it isn’t about a lack of action, it’s about staying steadfast and standing strong. What has been a signifier of Taako’s caution and wish to keep himself safe have expanded to a stance of protection - a radical idea, a deconstruction of a world of tar or a world of ash  into there’s a third option.  They don’t have to choose between running or hiding. Taako’s option - the option, ironically, of rushing into the Hunger - is staying and standing and fighting. Instead of staying back and not engaging, Taako’s unmoving posture here is standing firm and saying no, you move.

Which brings me to the second moment, from the last episode.

Griffin: Holy shit. Alright, here’s the scene. Merle and Magnus, you see Taako step up and say bye, and stick out the KrEbStAr in front of him, and from his glaive, a column of green wind launches outward and connects with John. And you see John screaming and you—it almost looks like he is being peeled out of that portal as this wind is just kind of tearing him apart. But you also see Taako and it looks like the power and fury of this attack is knocking him off of his feet.

[Arms Outstretched music plays]

Travis: I put my hand on Taako’s shoulder to help brace him.

Clint: I throw myself down to wrap my arms around his legs to hold him to the ground.

Justin: I reach into my fuckin’ bag and grab my Immovable Rod. I’m not going fuckin’ anywhere. (via @tazscripts)

Significant in this scene, first of all, is the fact that Arms Outstretched plays over it. As I said previously, Arms Outstretched is a scene of Taako’s action, a scene where he puts himself in danger, throws himself into the fray, so to speak, to rescue Magnus.

This moment is a pinnacle of the combination of that action with Taako’s now-established standing firm.  He’s at the front, casting a spell that is destroying the avatar of something they’ve all been fighting for over a century, and he starts to be blown away, but his friends grab on and hold him fast. He holds himself  fast.

Taako isn’t running away. He isn’t staying at the back. He’s right there in front, but his power isn’t in rushing in, but standing firm. Taako is Lup’s anchor, and there’s a good reason for that. He knows who he is, and he, in this moment, is fully himself. In this moment, he is the most Taako  he could be. He is multidimensional, a fully realized creation, and he isn’t going fuckin’ anywhere.

thesnadger:

Here’s the thing for me. About those scenes with Merle and “John.”

At the start, I couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed that Clint wasn’t asking different questions. Travis clearly had the same thoughts I did–tactically, Merle was playing it poorly. He gave more information than he needed and asked vague questions that didn’t yield practical intel on how to fight the Hunger. 

If it had been Taako, he’d have asked clever questions and been focused on getting info out of the Hunger, on besting it. If it had been Magnus, he would have straight up asked, “how do we kill you” and likely learned at least something from that. But this wasn’t Taako’s or Magnus’s role to play. 

Merle was approaching parley the way it was meant to be approached. Not as a warrior looking for a way to kill the Hunger, but as a diplomat trying to understand it. He approached it with an open mind. To the point where he was eventually able to ask “are you my friend?” 

He asked that of this nightmare entity, this thing that’s caused so much death and suffering–that’s killed him dozens of times. Maybe he’s just that able to open his heart. Or maybe despite the religious ideals he tries to project as a cleric, he’s someone who–whether the person in question is a human, or a god, or a sinister consuming force—just wants people to like him. 

Whatever the reason, he was able to look at the Hunger and try to reason with it. To talk to it earnestly about the value of life, and hope.

It didn’t listen. And when it didn’t listen, I actually believe Merle was disappointed. That for a moment he had hoped the Hunger could be better. Instead, he told the Hunger off, and said he didn’t want to see him anymore. 

And the Hunger is sad. For the first time in who even can guess how long, the Hunger feels sorrow, and regret. Because for a moment he had a friend, and then he lost that friend. Because of his own actions.

Merle didn’t learn how to kill the Hunger, he didn’t learn any information that could help them slow it down or get to the Light of Creation faster. But what he did hurt it more than any weapon ever could. 

sevenrelics:

sometimes a family is you, some acrobatic magicians, a necromancy practicing pianist, your biographer, your beach dwarf husband, and a teenage bodyguard with his pet jellyfish

incorrecttazquotes:

Lucretia: I want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me.

Magnus: Okay, but in my defense, Taako bet me fifty cents that I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Lucretia: That’s not what I wanted to…You drank SHAMPOO?

keplercryptids:

I started looking into this after reading several fics featuring Taako where his speaking voice was…kind of jarring to me? Mainly in the usage of vocatives. Taako uses vocatives (my dude, homie, darling etc) but he uses them in particular ways, and they’re often very overused when people write dialogue for Taako. 

Anyway, as I started researching this, it felt a little…mean-spirited? so I stopped lol. but the more I thought about it, the more I was interested in these particular quirks of Taako’s speech and how they add to his character. A bunch of you seemed interested in it too. So here I present the essay nobody asked for but some wanted after I mentioned it: Hot Linguistic Take on Taako’s Speech! Under a readmore cuz it got LONG, y’all. Buckle up.

Keep reading

barryjerrybluejeans:

Taako, as Magnus prepares to use his body as a wrecking ball on the train: How the hell do you know physics, you don’t look like you stepped foot in a school at any point in your life.

Magnus, not remembering that he was in fucking nasa: uh, it’s basic stuff Taako, everyone knows this, c'mon.

malt-tango:

Remember when you first started listening to the McElboys and you couldn’t tell Justin and Travis apart

miamaroo:

Inspiration tells the listener what they need to hear exactly when they need to hear it. The voidfish’s song is, in part, bardic magic. Therefore, I propose this:

Not everyone got the full story on the day of story and song. Maybe someone relates more strongly to other dwarves, or maybe the mothers of the world needed to hear about other motherly figures

But depending on who you are, you got a different version of the stolen century. Everything from the perspective of Magnus, the story portrayed as an epic romance, emphasis being placed on the scientific perspective

Bards start popping up, making it their mission to get as complete of a version of the story as they can. Scholarly circles debate the validity of each one since, well, everyone remembers it differently. The song becomes a subject to study all on its own

People start jokingly saying that the bird whose perspective you saw the most of is a personality type. Magazines give you desserts you might like based on what bird you are. If you’re a Lup, you’re known for your tenaciousness and caring nature. Future generations who didn’t see the song can take quizzes to determine which bird they are, or even base it on their star signs. If you’re edgy, you say you’re John. Nobody is named John anymore. Comedians make John jokes and pretend to not understand why everyone is offended.

The birds become folkloric figures. The birds themselves become folkloric types. Purchase a book of fairytales, and the human heroes are all named Lucretia and Magnus. All the clerics are Merle’s, the leader-types Davenport. Lup and Taako went up the hill to get a pail of water.

In some places more remote than others, it’s spiritual. You invoke the name of the Lover to guide you in your love, the Peacemaker when you stand on the break of war. Widows place lavenders on the graves of their lost loves and ask Magnus how he coped when he lost it all

(If you look on TV, there’s a three stooges comedy of an elf, a human, and a dwarf bumbling their way to saving the world. It’s a phenomenon. Goofy lines they never said in real life get attributed to them. In a few years, someone makes a dark, serious version of their story and calls it subversive)

In many years, you can read feminist, Freudian, or even post-modern interpretations of the song like it is any other story studied in schools. Every eight grade class has to read an anthology of various tales from the song. It becomes a chore the way reading the Odyssey is today, but there’s always those moments when you hear a certain tale and you think, yeah, this one’s mine.

No one gets the same version of the story. They hear what inspires them at that moment to pick up their weapons and fight back the encroaching darkness. From its conception, the titular song is like all other epics, all other legends that influence our culture to this day— ambiguous, malleable, and adaptable

blightedstar:

dancing alone in an empty diner in love with idea of heartbreak

you’re an infamous 15th century monarch doomed to be maligned and misremembered until someone finds your bones under a parking lot. you know who i’m talking about

you’re at your grandmother’s funeral and the only other people there are god and a teenage girl

formative friendships founded on snapple, saltines, and a satanic ritual

lesbian vampire born circa 3500 bc meets her 21st century death with dignity

if god exists he’s the stoic but beloved principal of an underfunded elementary school who gets fired because of his unconventional teaching methods

soundtrack to burning down your high school with a band of misfits

swordlesbianism:

grednforgesgirl:

swordlesbianism:

swordlesbianism:

swordlesbianism:

swordlesbianism:

swordlesbianism:

Does necromancy only work on animals? What do you do if you accidentally necromancy a fence and then it starts growing branches?

WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU NECROMANCY A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO AND IT TURNS INTO AN ENTIRE PILE OF LIMES?

What if I accidentally necromancy a vaccine and then someone gets an armful of very live pathogen?

WHAT’S THE LIMIT ON DEADNESS? HOW RECENTLY DOES SOMETHING HAVE TO BE DEAD? COULD I NECROMANCY A DINOSAUR FOSSIL? WHAT IF I NECROMANCIED THE GROUND AND THEN DINOSAURS STARTED APPEARING?

WHAT IF I NECROMANCIED A LIMESTONE WALL AND IT JUST TURNED INTO A PILE OF MOLLUSCS? WHAT IF I MOLLUSCED A BUILDING? A MOUNTAIN?

Hey OP are you okay

no

maxiesatanofficial:

The funniest thing about the (plausible, imo!) theory that Hometown is some kind of simulation, idealized fantasy world, etc. created by Asriel or someone misguidedly trying to help him:

It implies that nobody can even IMAGINE a world in which Asgore is not extremely divorced

amphiaria:

y’all pause to think about how toby fox could’ve bricked hundreds of thousands of computers instantly by distributing malware instead of a game because I thought about that as I was beating my antivirus software aside with a bat

krawps: